Sunday, November 29, 2009

Should-less Holidays!

It’s that time of the year again. The weather is cold, the days are short, and the advertising industry is directly and subliminally usingevery “should” in their billion dollar budget to make you feel as guilty and ashamed as possible. What are these “shoulds”? They may include:

I should give my loved ones everything they want for Christmas.

You should give me the perfect gift that I want.

Love and affection should be proven through the exchange of gifts.

I should be happier.

I shouldn’t eat too much food and gain weight.

My parents shouldn’t judge me when I go home.

I should be able to spend the money I used to have.

Families should be together.

I shouldn’t have lost my job this year.

I should be good at this stuff like other people.  

So what’s the alternative?

First,understand that you had to learn every "should" causing you stress or sadness at this moment. Not one of us popped out of our mother's womb saying, “I shouldn't have that extra cookie” or “I should be making more money.” If you learned your should, it means you can unlearn it.Try asking:

How did I learn this should? Your parents, your children, your friends, the billion dollar advertising industry?

Is this should true for everyone everywhere 24/7? Are there some who can be happy and fulfilled by not giving or receiving store bought gifts? If it’s possible for them, isn’t it possible for you?

Who is profiting off your should? Anytime,and I mean ANYTIME you feel guilty or sad there is a cash register somewhere singing. The media can make billions of dollars from making everyone feel insecure and fearful. You don’t have to give in to it.

How do you feel when you think this should?Does it bring you happiness? Peace? Hope? Or does it make you feel afraid, angry, frustrated, or depressed? You can change the way you feel by changing the way you see the holidays. If nothing else remember this: It is not the holiday that is making you feel upset, it is your“should” about the holiday that is making you feel upset.

Change It:You can try saying, “I prefer to be with my loved ones this year,” or“I can choose to make the holidays better by simply changing my mind”or “I wish I could gifts but I am a good person no matter what.”

By changing your thinking and talking about it with others you can have the very best “should-less” holiday ever.

Click here to purchase your own copy of "Absolutely Should-less: The Secret To Living The Stress-Free Life You Deserve." 


viajando said...

good post
I like the idea of doing things because you want to, not because you should ...

Anonymous said...

I will not concur on it. I regard as warm-hearted post. Especially the designation attracted me to review the sound story.

Puddock said...

Hi guys - love the blog! Came across it when I was looking for an image to complement a post I was doing about the tyranny of the "should". Hope it's okay to use your no entry to shoulds pic - please let me know if not and I'll take it down.