Wednesday, March 21, 2012

YOU Are Enough!!


I recently had the good fortune to spend time with a five-month-old child.  He was patient, calm, loving, totally open to giving and receiving kindness and affection.  He did not have to be told that he was valuable or perfect, he simply lived that truth.  I found myself wanting to protect him from the inevitable messages he will receive from this world - that somehow he is not good enough, strong enough, deserving enough.  I wanted him to grow up remembering every day:  YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Sadly, most people grow up being told the opposite.  Children are rarely given clear and effective instructions of how to dismiss toxic messages that instruct that difference is bad, individuality is inferior, emotions are weak.  Adults tend to internalize these messages and use them to negatively perceive themselves as "old," "fat," "addicted," "damaged," "weary," "unaccomplished," "infected," "disappointed," "unlovable," and "inadequate."  These pejorative labels then become the templates upon which people build unhealthy relationships, make harmful decisions, and suffer great emotional difficulty.

It doesn't have to be this way!!  My book "Absolutely Should-less" offers a step-by-step guide to challenging and unlearning any message that suggests you are not worthy, not valuable, not good enough.  My therapy practice helps people understand there is no universal committee that is judging how much you should weigh, how much money you should be making, whom you should and shouldn't be attracted to, or what you should look like.  These are all internalized messages people receive that are designed to make them depressed, powerless, defeated, and consequently spend money on products they don't really need.

Clearly, a newborn child needs no help in this area.  But as adults living in this world, we need to be disciplined and determined to challenge and dispute harmful or painful beliefs.  Therapy can help.  To learn more about my work, or to find a therapist in your area, please feel free to check out my Therapick profile. From there you can also search for therapists in your area, and see a 2-3 minute video describing how each counselor works.  This service empowers the consumer to investigate and learn more about the professional they may wish to see.

My private practice assists individuals and couples learn the long-held (and usually unconscious) thought patterns that result in anger, stress, depression, hopelessness, and suffering.  I have found unequivocally that when people challenge and alter certain beliefs they experience a sense of relief, calm, satisfaction, and empowerment.  It is through these changes that it is possible to make affirmative and effective decisions that last a lifetime!  If you are interested in learning more, please don't hesitate to contact me at Shouldless@gmail.com, or call me at 347-227-7707.
I hope you have a wonderful spring, and let me know how I can help!