Saturday, January 31, 2009

Evidence this is the Best Recession EVER

Can there be better evidence that this is the Best Recession EVER? For only $18, Theatre Askew is presenting their fascinating performance of, "Cornbury: The Queen's Governor." It turns out Manhattan's history of being home to outcasts is not unique to the last century, and neither are efforts to squash out creativity and difference. This show hysterically and cleverly portrays what happened when the Queen of England sent her pan-sexual gender-bending cousin to rule the infant colony of New York in the early 1700's, and the tension and chaos that ensued. Featuring Obie winner David Greenspan and the wonderful New York singer/actress Bianca Leigh, you won't find a better theatrical bang for your buck.

The show runs until February 8th. For more information about the show and purchasing tickets please press here

Thursday, January 29, 2009

How to Have Your Best Recession EVER Tip #2

Make a Budget and Stick To It!

Sure, none of us want to do this. In ideal economy, none of us would need to count pennies. But given this is not an ideal economy, you now have a choice: adjust, or suffer.

If you choose the former, consider making a weekly budget. Evaluate what your net income will be, and take the time to detail how each cent will be spent. If your income fluctuates, estimate conservatively on the low side.

Consider areas where you can cost. Do you really need that cup of Starbucks in the morning? Do you have to have meals out as often? Must you see that movie that's out right now? Can you find that music CD cheaper online?

Part of remaining calm and sleeping better during the Recession means that you take effective action, so that you feel a little more in control of what's happening to your savings. For me, this means making coffee at home or work instead of buying it. It means not seeing EVERY movie nominated for Best Picture Academy Award, since that would cost well over $50. If I do go to the movies, it means I won't buy $4 popcorn and $2 Pepsi's. Instead of taking taxis late at night, I'll just be patient and wait 20+ minutes for a subway (EVEN if it's for the perpetually dysfunctional "L" train).

These are just a few ideas on how to take back my power when the economy is collapsing. What are some tips that YOU have come up with to budget and save money during these difficult times? Please leave comments here, since your ideas may help me and others reading this blog have our BEST RECESSION EVER!!

Monday, January 26, 2009

How to Have your Best Recession EVER, Tip #1

#1 Lose the "Should" about your least for now.

This may sound like a radical and weird concept. But if you have been reading this blog, or reading my book Absolutely Should-less you know this is entirely possible. My biggest qualm with "shoulds" is this: When they conflict with reality, you will suffer. When you say to yourself, "I should have more money in my 401K," you may find a room full of people who will agree with you, but how does that make you feel? Does anger, fear, frustration, or worry help you take proactive steps to protect yourself and your family?

Letting go of "shoulds" doesn't mean you agree with what's going on, or that you do nothing to rectify it (we'll get to that later). It simply means you are accepting the objective reality of your loss, for now. It means you exercise your choice to feel peace in the NOW even though tomorrow is unknown. This can be profoundly challenging if you're used to thinking you know what's going to happen the next day, the next month, and the next year.

The hard reality is that none of us know what's going to happen, and if you're brutally honest, you'll admit you never did know before the recession. But if you can practice a little more acceptance of how things are in the here and now, vs. how you think they "should" be, then you are well on your way to having your BEST RECESSION EVER!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Should-less Recession Tips

Okay everyone, it's officially here.

The stock market is crashing, real estate is falling, giant stores are closing, and (gasp!) Deidre Hall is out of work. This means one thing and one thing only:

Fortunately, those of you reading this blog (and my book) know that it's completely possible to live joyfully even when things are not going your way. For those who haven't been keeping up, this is your chance. Because in the next few weeks, I'm going to be posting handy-dandy tips on how to stay peaceful, relaxed, and take effective action during difficult economic times.

This could be your best recession ever if you let it be! Keep reading this week to find out how.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Feast of Miracles

Today you've witnessed miracles take place in the White House. Now it's time to clean up your own house. There are no excuses anymore. "I can't do it" is just not going to wash under an Obama Presidency. So please take some time to go to to listen to my conversation with Fausto Fernos and Marc Felion, and learn how to make the next four years count!

Presidential Shoulds

I needed to take a day to honor a model for should-less living. Has there ever been a clearer example of what life can offer when you cut the "shoulds" out of your hopes and goals? Imagine the messages President Barack Obama received growing up about becoming the 44th President of the United States. What would happened if he had allowed others to determine his perception of "possible."On this historic date, please take a moment to slow down and ask yourself: In what ways are YOU holding yourself back from getting what you want? How have you bought into the negative messages telling you that you "shouldn't" reach for your hopes and dreams? Take a look at this picture and remember - no one or nothing can hold you back anymore except for yourself.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

A Should-less Plug

I have been so honored by a wonderful review of, "Absolutely Should-less" by the marvelous Marlena DelaCriox and her wonderful hubby Moose. If you're not sure if this is the book for you, check out this review hereAnd remember: if you want to submit a review you can do so at I look forward to hearing from you!

Monday, January 12, 2009

Should-less Bingo January 14th

If you're in the New York area, please come visit me and superstar Will Clark for his weekly round of Porno Bingo at Pieces Bar (8 Christopher Street) from 8pm - 10pm. All proceeds will benefit the Metropolitan Tennis Group. And who knows, you just might win a copy of Absolutely Should-less, or something bigger!

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Insomniac Shoulds

Do you ever have nights you just don't get that sleep? Ever wake up in the morning feeling angry about not getting decent rest the night before? Does it ever feel like you "should" be able to sleep like "normal" people? If so, read on.

For as long as I can remember I have had problems getting to sleep. I can get pretty hyped up at night, which doesn't fit well with having a nine to five work schedule. Not sleeping at night used to bring me much frustration. I would curse the birds chirping in the morning, and beg not to see the first hint of sun peeking through the window.

Fortunately, when I started challenging the thought, "I should get plenty of sleep at night," I felt better. Here's how I apply it now in the middle of one of these aggravated sleepless nights:

"How did you learn that you should get plenty of sleep at night?"
I certainly get bombarded with 'studies' that tell me I should be getting rest. I know I had parents who did their very best to get me to sleep at night. Teachers, doctors, all say I should get plenty of rest.

"But is this true for everyone everywhere 24/7?"
No, plenty of people can function without a proper night's rest. And in fact, I can function adequately without a decent night's sleep. I'm certainly not at my best without sleep, but I can make it through if need be.

"How do you feel when you think you should be sleeping right now?"
I feel angry, anguished, discouraged, powerless.

"And do these feelings help you get the sleep you want?"
No way.

"What would life be like without this should?"
It would be so much easier. I could sleep when I'm tired, relax, and not worry so much if sleep doesn't come.

"Replace it."
I would prefer to get enough sleep. It would be beneficial for me to get enough sleep. But in the long run I'm going to be okay either way. Even if I'm not functioning at my 100% best I can get by. And as Dr. Albert Ellis once said, nobody has ever died from losing one night of sleep.

By changing my thoughts like this, I actually feel a lot better. And when I feel better, I end up getting more sleep. So it turns out that when I eliminate my "should" about getting sleep, that I end up getting a lot more sleep!

This is one of the wonderful paradoxes of Should-less living. When you let go of that thing you think you need, you're often more likely to get it.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Feast of Fools !!

I am thrilled delighted and excited beyond belief that I will be talking with the boys at Feast of Fools next week. Stay tuned for the air date. For more information about this fabulous podcast, go to

Monday, January 5, 2009

On The Soap Shrink's Couch: Katherine Chancellor

Ever wonder what makes Katherine Chancellor put the "Restless" in The Young and the Restless?
Come check out my analysis of Genoa City's premier diva here

Friday, January 2, 2009

Petting Zoo Show!

I am so excited about this show on Sunday, January 11th. I will definitely be there and hope that everyone in the New York area checks this out:

WHEN: Sunday, January 11th at 7pm for only $5!

WHERE: Arlene's Grocery - 85 Stanton Street (at 2cd ave exit on F Train)

WHAT: A concert benefit featuring local talents such as -- Quiet Loudly, Pet Ghost Project, Spainard, Bob Bordallo, Telltale, a whole host of artwork created right in front of you...and a few surprises!!

WHO: The Petting Zoo Player's Society is a loose collective of artists, musicians and other creative folks. They are a powerful dynamic community that creates shows called "the petting zoo" -- an ever-changing, always fun musical artistic extravaganza.

WHY: They are a non-profit organization whose mission is to end the destruction of healthy, adoptable pets. Too many animals are dying in shelters and rescues that are under-funded and over-crowded. They envision a world where there's enough space, money, and love for every animal -- even if "home" is a shelter. They are all about fun, inspiration, and making a difference!

Please come join me for this fun and talented group's first big event!!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

New Year's Shoulds

Welcome to a Should-less 2009! It's the beginning of a new calendar year, and for many this means a new army of "shoulds" are marching in (ie, "I should lose weight," "I should quit smoking," "I should visit my family more,") etc. These goals in and of themselves may be quite healthy and beneficial. But I'm here to say: if you're making these goals from a place of "should" you are setting yourself up for failure.

Why? Because "shoulds" are never an effective motivator for change. This is just as true for disciplining children to teaching safer sex to shaping your employees behaviors. You may get some short term results, but in the long term "shoulds" rarely result in sustained changes. Unless you are willing to change your thinking you are unlikely to fulfill that resolution you keep setting every year.

For example, let's say your New Year's resolution has to do with going to the gym. Try asking honestly why you want this. If you're doing it because you've been conditioned to think you "should" have a body like the actors in the movies, then it will probably feel like a struggle, a burden, an annoyance, and chances are by March you'll stop going. And then you'll feel discouraged, depressed, and have a much harder time going to the gym in the future. Has this ever happened to you?

There IS an easier way! What if you just cut through the gym part and said, "My new year's resolution is to be as happy and healthy as possible no matter what." Then guess what can happen? You'll feel good. You'll feel strong. You'll feel empowered. And chances are, you'll want to do activities that support those good feelings, like exercise, eating better foods. You may even do some other healthy things like reading a good book, take walks, or treat the people around you a little kinder.

The point is, instead of using the gym as a means to feel good, you have the right to feel good FIRST, and use that good feeling to go to the gym. Or not. As long as you are feeling happy, what difference does it make?

So instead of focusing on what we want to happen externally, let's try to focus on how we want to feel internally. If your goal is to live another year stressed out and disappointed, then by all means, go forward and use your "shoulds" to torture yourself as much as you want. But if your goal this year is to obtain a more consistent level of happiness and peace, then join me for a year of "Should-less" living in these blogs. What's YOUR choice?