Sunday, July 26, 2009

And We're Back!

Dear Should-less Readers,

The rough draft of "Absolutely Should-less in Relationships" is completed, and I am so excited to share samples and ideas in this blog in the upcoming weeks. I really believe this book will be of assistance to ANYONE who is in a relationship, has ever been in a relationship, or received "Shoulds" from others about being in a relationship. I believe that connections with others can be fun, joyful, and peaceful, but all too often we make them complicated and stressful. If you're not sure if this is right for you, try asking yourself if you have ever said the following:

Being with me in a relationship means you "should"...

- Like the same friends as I do
- Enjoy the same foods as I do
- Go to the same kind of movies
- Watch the same TV shows
- Spend all your available spare time with me
- Always talk about your feelings when I ask
- Enjoy the same games I do
- Agree with me in front of others
- Return my calls, texts, or e-mails, as soon as possible
- Visit my family with me
- Practice the same religion or spirituality as me
- Never make a serious mistake
- Have the same political views as me
- Have sex with me a certain amount of times each week
- Enjoy the same things I do on weekends
- Dislike the same people I do
- Feel the same way about marriage
- Make more money than me
- Make less money than me
- Be sexually monogamous
- Call me a certain amount of times every day
- Not go out for fun without me
- Have grown up with the same values as I did
- Like the same kind of music I do
- Feel the same way I do about having children
- Keep in physical shape
- Cut your foods a certain way
- Have your full attention focused on me when we’re together
- Put the toilet seat down
- Like the same sports I do
- Tell me everything you’re thinking, including what you discuss in therapy
- Have the same standards of cleanliness as I do
- Enjoy doing the same things as me on our vacation together
- Squeeze the toothpaste the same way I do
- Stay in bed with me after we have sex
- Love my pets
- Be willing to dance with me at weddings
- Take care of me if I feel sick
- Stand up for me if I’m attacked by someone
- Be healthy
- Not have your own friends apart from me
- Meet my needs

Anyone of these "shoulds" can be a significant barrier to you having the stress-free relationship you deserve. Please keep reading in upcoming weeks for ideas, tips, and fun tools, that will help you learn how joyful and satisfying connections with others. And PLEASE feel free to leave comments, for this helps us to learn and grow from each other.

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